As a remarkable lover, you are not responsible for how your partner feels. You are, however, responsible for showing up in a way that engenders it. That is only what is in your control, and where your focus should lie.
How do you know where the healing is needed? Look for the pattern. If nobody feels comfortable around you, then it’s probably something you can shift. If your partner never feels safe around anyone, it’s probably something they need to shift.
The most trusting, loving woman will never feel safe around a man who is abusive, violent, and disrespectful. And the most insecure, masochistic, and paranoid woman will never feel safe around the most kind and gentle man.
Character trumps tactic.
I can go to places sexually and spiritually with women in ways most men never get to see, because I see women in ways most men don’t.
I get miraculous results with my clients because I show up in a way that other coaches don’t, and my clients are willing to look at things most people aren’t.
Technique is essential, but the least essential. Your character will shadow over any ‘skills’ you have, and may make or break their effectiveness.
I’ll be honest…
This post really has nothing to do with sex.
It is about understanding that who you are and how you move through the world acts as a catalyst—a door, a permission slip—for people to show up for themselves in a profound way.
And if you can facilitate that because of who you are, you will naturally be fulfilled yourself. But if you have an agenda or are pretending to be a certain quality to get something… not gonna happen.
This requires healing and becoming honest about your intentions and needs.
Become a clearer channel of remarkable character, create a space that fosters remarkable behavior, and create an invitation to remarkable generosity—and all the sexual and financial fulfillment you could desire is available to you.