The Purpose Of Improving Sexual Performance

Drew Gerald Sexual Performance Link

If you’re reading this now, you’ve seen some form of “Top 10 Sex Tips to Drive Your Lover Wild” list countless times. You know the ones. You’ve probably laughed at some, went “ohh, sexy” at a few, and others made your eyes roll. Regardless of how good they were, you ultimately read them because you want to be better in bed. You’re looking for ways to become more confident in your sexual prowess, to learn and try something new, but most importantly—satisfy your lover.

You wouldn’t care about performing better in bed if you were selfish—if you were just looking out for your own pleasure. You genuinely want your partner to be satisfied: to feel amazing, orgasm more (or at all), and appreciate your abilities to make them feel things they’ve never felt before.

The problem is most of these lists don’t teach anything substantial. They’re just lists with tricks and tips. After a few nights of implementation, their novelty wears out.

What about “10,000 Crazy Sex Positions” books? A few little gems in a dark coal mine. Even if you read a lot of books on sex positions, it’s still mere novelty.

Then there’s porn. Many young men are growing up learning how to have sex from watching hardcore porn without any real life context. Porn has it’s place, but in teaching intimacy and real life sex – it falls dangerously short if that’s all you go by.

For myself, that’s all I really had. I was the kid in school who laughed along awkwardly when the others would mention sexual terminology, completely clueless. I saw a few pornos and got the basic gist of what was supposed to happen: “put the P in the V”.

Clearly I wasn’t born gifted with abilities to pleasure and arouse. In fact, I was painfully mediocre at it. Many of us are, but we don’t know what we don’t know.

Anyone can figure out how to have intercourse; it’s essential to survival. But to satisfy and give your partner remarkable pleasure and fulfillment on all levels?

That must be learned.

Learning can happen by happenstance as trial and error, it can be passed down and taught from lovers, or it can be studied. It’s all learning: just like driving a car, painting, or reading is.

Sexual performance isn’t just about physical fucking: it’s about a holistic approach between arousing and satisfying on the physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual levels.

“Just being yourself” and not wanting to learn new ways to have sex because it “isn’t natural” are excuses that will keep you stuck in mediocrity. You can spend decades fumbling around trying to figure it out, you can hope for elusive super experienced partners to teach you, or you can ensure learnings by quickly studying from people that have already figured it out.

A few tips aren’t going to cut it, I’m afraid. As a Remarkable Lover, we want to improve our sexual performance across the entire gamut in a lasting, integrated, masterful way. The mainstream dime-a-dozen parlor trick sex approach will only work for so long until your lover is left wanting substance.

Feed your lover the organic superfood nutrient-dense gourmet five-course meal, not junk food from the McDonald’s dollar menu.

Does it takes more work, more training, more time, more resources? Yes, of course it does! Anything worth having is worth cultivating.

…isn’t the deeper connection, unshakable confidence, multiple full-body extended orgasms, and your own increased pleasure and enjoyment worth it?

The horrible, miserable, completely-not-fun price you have to pay for this is learning and practicing sexual skills by having more sex.

Poor thing.

You’ll be learning how to:

  • Talk sexy, sensual, and dirty
  • Not just “do”, but master fingering/handjobing (is that a word?)
  • Perform oral sex techniques
  • Ravish or be ravished by your partner(s)
  • Penetrate or be penetrated in a plethora of ways (varying speeds, intensities, depths, angles, tightness or firmness, durations)
  • Touch and allow yourself to be touched in a range of ways
  • Become a world-class, knee-shaking kisser
  • Hug and embrace your partner
  • Role-play and enact fantasies
  • Use toys and bring them in effectively
  • Have threesomes and moresomes
  • Manage your breath
  • Get into shape (strength and flexibility)
  • Cultivate proper sexual health and hormones (I only suggest natural and holistic means, never pharmaceuticals)
  • Build sexual arousal
  • Master foreplay, sexting, and seduction
  • Calibrate your partner’s state
  • Orgasm/ejaculation control/cultivation
  • …and many other things

These are all required to have mastery of your sexual performance at the highest level. Most people are only getting by having mediocre skill with just a few of these. One of the major reasons so many (especially women) are vastly under-fulfilled sexually.

Sexual performance isn’t just about physical fucking: it’s about a holistic approach between arousing and satisfying on the physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual levels.

Learning all these skills, approaches, and techniques will equip you with ways to do just that.

However, if we just stop here, you will always fall short if all you learn are skills. This is what happens to most people: they go out and learn all these great techniques, but they never quite get the results or sex life they’re looking for.

This is because you also need sexual understanding and healing along with performance.

Don’t get me wrong: sexual performance is absolutely essential—but it’s only a third of it.

If you learn skills without knowing why they’re effective and how they work, you’ll be like a musician who can only play other people’s songs but never create his own music.

If you go to learn a new way to make love and pleasure your partner but have insecurities, hesitations, bitterness, fears, arrogance, guilt, etc. around it, you’ll come across as inauthentic, incongruent, or completely resistant to the new approach.

It’s natural to feel uneasy as you push your comfort zone to become better in bed… but it’s simply that—pushing your comfort zone to grow.

Remember: a remarkable, skilled lover is created—not born.